The Lair of Mr. Squid

So yeah, back to the schedule.

2009-01-21T21:55:00.000-08:00

A combination of SAI saving empty files and school has set me back, I'm attempting to get back on schedule. Here's the rough sketch for the first panel of a comic strip I'm doing.

Some PandoraPanic! backgrounds

2009-01-15T21:39:00.000-08:00

These may or may not end up in PandoraPanic! for the game Panic Attack. Idk what todd (the dev) wants for it so I'm just doing random stuff.... And after about 30 minutes trying to upload these dumb images, I guess Blogspot just wont do it. I'll upload them to dA tomorrow, I'm tired...goodbai

I'm counting this as Wednesday, damn it!

2009-01-14T23:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, quick post, had no time for ANYTHING today... stupid ethics class got canceled and they had me running circles around the school to get it replaced and now I have to wake up at 6:30 every day for an English class... -.- wish me luck for tomorrow/this morning, I shall post art tomorrow/later today.

Some new art for joo all

2009-01-13T11:50:00.000-08:00

Here's a robot to get get some ideas down for two upcoming projects. New art to come tomorruh. Sorry for the lack of updates lately, I have been lazy... so so lazy. School, lounging, TF2, L4D, and doing some work for PandoraPanic have kept me from doing anything artsy the past...half a year.

I hope you enjoyed my rant on Fatal Frame, more rants to come as well as some reviews of random crap I feel like reviewing and, of course, art and information on my projects. Like I said, new art to come tomorrow as well as a regular update schedule of Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays. Why did I choose these days? So that I know when Penny-Arcade has updated, I must too. This isn't to say I wont update on random days between those though.

Also, feedback on this art style, give it to me. Do you like the way its painted or would you prefer a more uniform style? Let me know...and anyone who doesn't respond and tell me what they think can go to hell.

Fatal Frame is for pussies and if it scares you, you should feel bad.

2009-01-07T21:42:00.000-08:00

Since the death of Silent Hill (R.I.P. September 30, 2008) I have been desperately searching for something to fill that void in my life. I mean, sure it was cool getting two Silent Hill games with the span of eleven months of each other, but at the cost of one being good yet lacking in depth of the story (as well as being way too easy) and the other sucking my balls as an SH game... and being just alright as a game.

So my search sent me to the intarwebs where I roam these tubes for what should be my next Silent Hill. I asked people, I lurked through various forum threads, and everything seems to have a recurring theme... And that is, people who play horror games are very large pussies. The severity of hatchet wounds clogging the internet is almost alarming. What makes these people giant vulva with arms attatched? They claim Fatal Frame scares the shit out of them.

Yes, they mean the game where you fight ghosts, the lamest monster ever, with a supernatural camera. Why did I italicize those words? Because its the only way to make the font look gay enough to emphasize exactly how much cock the game sucks. Not only this, but you play as a character who has been so stylized to the point where their character model just looks like an anime character. I can't take cartoons seriously for horror, and anyone who can tends to wear a helmet. Just look at this comparison between Fatal Frame and Silent Hill 3, do not mind the fact that SH3's screen is pre rendered, FFs is too. This is about character design.

Notice how heather looks real and the lolita on the left looks as though she's about to be assaulted by tentacles.

Fatal Frame is not scary and anyone who thinks that it is should be exiled to live in the ocean despite the fact we are not fully aquatic animals. And anyone who thinks its scarier than Silent Hill should be catapulted into the sun.

THREE REASONS WHY FATAL FRAME IS NOT SCARY
1. Its atmosphere blows
Instead of bringing a unique look and tension to the game, Fatal Frame gives you environments such as...

Dark House
Dark House
And, my favorite, Hello Kitty's Island Resort
(Not Pictured)

2. Supernatural Camera, need I say more?

What could a developer possibly do to get their game taken less seriously? Fight ghosts with the power of snapshot! Your camera somehow has the ability to capture ghosts within super awesome, super secret, ghost film. Througout the game you get various different types of film which is pretty much your ammo. The better the picture, the more power you drain from the ghost, how awesome! Its pretty much like playing Pokemon Snap with only Ghastlies. My friend, who happens to be one of these pussies as she loves Fatal Frame and it is the only reason she owns a Wii (the developers couldn't be bothered to make a game with real graphics), tried to explain to me the camera phenomenon. She tried to connect it to the old Native American belief that camera stole your soul... but the game revolves around an old house whose residents were a Shinto based cult. And even then, if the camera was stealing the souls... thats still lame. You can wrap a turd in a pancake but now you've just got a shit-pancake which is, in a sense, worse because now pancake part implies its to be eaten. This will take some explaining... If you try to tell me the camera in Fatal Frame is there because of Native American beliefs, then you're just being silly and now I absolutely can't take the game seriously because I'm now to believe there are injuns in the mix where they don't fit.

3. Anime grade voice acting
This seems to afflict many games from japan but not all. Its the typical voice acting you hear in anime, where the characters make unnecessarry noises ALL THE DAMNED TIME. Cooing, gasping, very slight moaning/groaning, etc. obnoxiously loud make the game unbearable to listen to as it sounds like the main character is about to choke on her tongue. Of course I could be confusing this with other games like Rule of Rose but I'm pretty sure I remember it in Fatal Frame as well. Even if this isn't actually in Fatal Frame, the first two points still stand and anyone who likes it can go to hell... except for the few friends I have who like it... of course.

So to sum things up: dark house, gay, catapult into the sun, mourn over the loss of Silent Hill.

NEW ARTZ!!!

2008-07-12T23:18:00.000-07:00

This took a few (I think 5) hours over a couple of days (work kept getting in the way ><). At least 30 minutes of that was switching between PSElements and GIMPshop as GIMP has my much needed bezier tool that PSElements lacks and PSElements supports my tablet which causes GIMPshop to crash for some reason... Anyways, hope you enjoy.

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Now playing: Cibo Matto - White Pepper Ice Cream
via FoxyTunes

More to Come

2008-06-30T00:41:00.000-07:00

So you may be asking, "Hey, Johnathon, I saw your last two posts but what happened?" Well, seeing as I'm having a hard time sleeping and thinking that I can finish this post before the Excedrin PM kicks in to knock me out, I shall explain.

I have recently had an idea flood. Thats right, a flood of blood rushing to my brain, causing me to hallucinate, recently produced the sketches you can view in my last two posts. Those sketches are for a short comic I am currently working on but was put on a temporary, week long hiatus, I shall resume work during my trip to Lincoln, NE.

But why was it on hiatus? Well, recently, I also approached Chris U. to see if he would like to collaborate for a comic series. The original plan was an anthology series but he seems to have a lot of ideas that all fit into one story so I think we might just take that work into that direction.

So, what I plan on happening now is that the collaboration will probably be a long term series. Its a regular comic. Not an online 3 panel comic strip, but an actual comic, though it will be online and free. Hopefully if all goes right, he could launch himself into a writing career. But thats off topic now. Anyways, I will also do the anthology series, but that will be done completely by me. The sketches you see will be from the first comic. Once we get enough started up, I'll buy some webhosting and get a site built, try to get some advertising, and whore myself out to the world. I want to update everyweek but alternate between the collaboration and my anthology series so those will technically be bi-weekly updates depending on how you look at it.

To achieve this, I'm going to start devoting 2 days a week of my free time entirely to these two projects. Since for college I'll only be going to school Mondays and Wednesdays, this should turn out relatively easy. I'll just 3-4 hours of the time I'm not at work on Thursdays and Fridays to do sketches, writing, storyboards, and all that fun stuffs :D With all this, I'm hoping to keep a constant schedule that will help me improve, learn new techniques, and evolve my style(s).

So keep looking out for updates on here from me, I'll probably upload all my sketches here along with something to complain about on thursdays and fridays. And if you want to help me with the website, feel free to talk with me about it.

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Foxytunes no longer works for me, courtesy of Windows Vista
Now Playing: Chloroform Girl by Polkadot Cadaver

MOAR BUTTER, MOAR BUTTER!

2008-06-17T22:06:00.001-07:00

As you can see, the dude on the left has been slightly altered. Also, I messed up on the nose *shhhhhhhh*

And on the right.... a chicken.

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Now playing: Lamb of God - Black Label
via FoxyTunes

Soon...

2008-06-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

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Now playing: Tomahawk - Birdsong
via FoxyTunes

Its Easier Than You Think

2008-03-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

How To Make A Hardcore Punk/Post-Hardcore Punk/Emo/Screamo/Similar Bullshit Band

1. Choose a name for the band. Remember, you want it as generic, convoluted, and meaningless as possible. Something like Beatings For Tiffany or Angry Thursday Midnight Sun would work perfectly. Don't bother reflecting on what the band stands for when choosing a name, you just want something with enough words for an acronym so that emo scene kids on myspace and facebook can post bulletins and comments talking about how great BFT or ATMS are.

2. Dress like the bitchiest bitch on the entire bitch. One simple thing to remember is black everything, but try to really go all out on it. You want black eye liner, black nail polish, black hair dye, black flairs or another piece of girl's apparel, and load on the hairspray like no tomorrow. Remember, you have to keep fashionable and androgynous enough to where both angst ridden teenage girls as well as angst ridden teenage boys want to have sex with you.

3. Write some random and bullshit lyrics before writing any music. The key thing to emo (works well in the other shitty punk genres but mostly present in emo), other than the look, are the lyrics the singer vocalizes. Five things every emo band needs in their songs are something about how their friends are angry about something, shallow rhyming schemes, odd phrases that make no sense nor fit the song, scream for no reason especially when its uncalled for, start to cry during the middle of it.

4. Find a singer who was castrated before puberty. The biggest turn on for these 13 year old boys and girls is a guy who sounds like them. Search for someone who is sexually indistinguishable when it comes to voice first, and then narrow down your search to only those who are sexually indistinguishable by looks as well. The goal is to find someone who sounds exactly like the whining assholes from Memphis Mayfire. If you can achieve this amount of suckage, you can coast for the rest of your career.

5. Make Simple Music. Simple minded kids get scared when they hear complex built songs. Start by making a simple drum beat, progress to your standard 3 chord strumming on the guitar, and add in random melodic guitar lines in high pitches just to annoy the sane listener, then take the lyrics you wrote in step three and throw them in there. They will fit, and if they don't, who cares, you're in a popular shitty Punk-offshoot band now! Have a great life exploiting teen angst in corporate butt-rock!

Time To Talk A Lot About Nothing

2008-03-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

MONEY
So today I was bored and decided to count the money I had in my wallet since I still did not know exactly how much I had and it was fucking $302. I made a noise much like the sound of a nerd getting his first blow job (WhhoooooOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOooooAAAAaaaaa) and then thought I should probably get around to cashing in my change in at the bank after lunch and now I'm at $375. Yay me, the only problem is that I have nothing to spend all this money on... its kind of sad really... I guess there'll be something totally awesome sometime in the near future I can spend it on but for now thats not here. I guess I could buy a PS3 Saturday since I will more than likely have made $80-$100 in tips between tomorrow night and Friday but I still don't feel like spending money on a console that has one game worth buying for it... Maybe I could use the money to buy ideas for drawings... I'm low on those lately and I'm desperate.

GAMES
Anywho, I recommend you guys check out Giantbomb Gamespot that made it awesome. These were the two guys I watched the shows and listened to the podcasts from Gamespot for and its great they're making as it is Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis' new site they're building. Both of them are ex Gamespot employees, Jeff was fired and Ryan quit with a few others partly because of Jeff Gerstmann's firing. So pretty much this site is the part of their own site. Hopefully it will eventually grow to rival sites like Gamespot, 1Up, IGN, etc. and with how many people already read it I think that will be relatively soon.

Other stuffs happening, I uploaded that review of Condemned 2 yesterday, still working on how I want the graphics to look on my reviews so thats not the finalized banner style. I need a better design for the score bubble things. I only used that because I was rushing and didn't feel like taking time out to make something that took more than 5 seconds.

On the subject of videogames, if you didn't check out Lost Planet before or really liked it the first time around (as I did), you might want to look into the Platinum Hits edition (Lost Planet: Colonies) of it for when that comes out. It has a new aiming system/camera angle. I'm assuming you can toggle it between the old one and the new one but the new one is an over the shoulder type deal such as what RE4 and Gears of War did. That camera angle alone would make the game feel extremely different, I think. Then there are... I think it was 3 new single player modes, though I'm not sure what they are, and 6 new multiplayer modes. One of the multiplayer modes being a game where one person plays as a boss creature (like that giant worm thing) and everyone else tries to take him down. That mode alone can get someone like me excited for this. So if you sold Lost Planet and feel you made a mistake or you never played it, hold out for this version that will only be $29.99. And if you already have the game, get your $9.00 trade in credit for it and buy the new version, I'm positive it will be worth it. I know I'm going to get it and play over the single player campaign with that new aiming system myself.

MUSIC - A Whole Lotta New Releases...
In music news the new In Flames album, A Sense of Purpose, is set to be released in the U.S. the first of next month. I'm pretty excited to hear it, even if already I can tell I might be disappointed. It sounds like they're starting to head back to their older sound, or at least gain influence from it again. From the song "The Mirror's Truth", it sounds as though the new album is going to have the aesthetics of their more recent Come Clarity album mixed with their 2000 release Clayman. Hopefully my assumption is correct, because if they do intend to progress back to their older sound then we could have another Jester Race, Whoracle, or Colony type album in about 4-6 years. But most of that is wishful thinking. One thing I noticed from the album art is the new band logo. Means nothing but its something to notice.

Also, Lacuna Coil is currently in the process of making their new album. Its been almost two years since Karmacode's release already. That time went by pretty fast. Anyways, according to Kerrang! the current deadline for the album is to have it released in September of this year. They could finally break their curse this time around, Karmacode came so close to that but it failed just by a thread. The curse being that their albums are filled with great songs and are good for listening to individually, but the albums as a whole doesn't have enough energy to keep you listening all the way through. Usually by the 7th song I feel a little bored with the album.

Lacuna Coil isn't the only band recording a new cd aimed at a September release. Slipknot is currently in the studio now as well after beginning recording last month in February. They plan to take it another step in the direction Vol. 3 was heading by making it more experimental, having more acoustics and melodic singing, and they claim its going to be their heaviest album yet. Of course this is going to be a disappointment to everyone who liked them better Nu Metal, including me. But I kind of got sick of Slipknot a long time ago so oh well.

Disturbed, as well, planning to release a new cd, but unlike the last two I wrote about, this one has a definite release date and title. The new album is called Indestructible and is set for release on June third. The cover song they're adding to this album, in the tradition of all their albums, is supposedly Midlife Crisis originally performed by Faith No More. The first single from the cd, titled Inside the Fire, is expected to release this month. In three days, actually, on the 21st. Radio play won't start until the 24th, and on the 25th you'll be able to download the MP3. I'm kind of excited for this, actually. I used to love Disturbed and then for a couple of years I just didn't want anything to do with their music but recently I've been listening to them again and they're a great band. I'm really not sure why they get so much hate, especially from people who use the interwebs. I guess its the "in" thing to hate groups that are popular now. That would be the only explanation I could find. Its the same reason so many people hate DragonForce.

Quick run of other bands currently writing new albums but have released little information. Evergrey plans to release their new cd, currently titled Torn, by Christmas of this year. God Forbid is now writing the follow up to 2005's Constitution of Treason but no date has been set. Mastodon is supposedly also writing a new album set to also be released sometime this year. Lamb of God, while taking a break, stated that they plan to write music throughout this year to prepare for an album to be released in 2009. DragonForce is currently in the process of writing new material for their upcoming album set to be released this year as well.

And thats all I can think of for the moment, thanks for caring enough to read this and gudbai.

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Now playing: Ektomorf - You Are My Shelter
via FoxyTunes

Condemned 2: Bloodshot Review

2008-03-18T12:13:00.001-07:00

GRAPHICS 9.0

The first thing to notice about this game is the improvement over the first games graphics. Character models and environments are incredibly detailed. It’s a shame that sometimes the game gets so dark (even with your flashlight on) that you can’t see anything. And if it’s not the darkness, it’s the filters that the developers thought were a good idea to rape you with. A few moments in the game, a filter comes on to flush out the colors, the screen gets blurry, and on top of this, you’re in a black room with black demons coming at you so you can’t see anything and have to guess as to where you’re getting hit from. They seemed to have gone a little overboard with the filters at those few moments, but at least they’re short and only a few of them.

Look at that sexfully rendered hobo, mmm...

STORY 6.5

This game gets half a point higher than DMC4 did in terms of story because it was COHERENT. What happens to the story, though, is a huge disappointment. They turned Ethan Thomas into some generic bad-ass antihero (which actually does decrease how scary the game is) who became an alcoholic after the events from the first game one year ago. At the beginning you feel as though it won’t live up to the first game’s story but it’s something you can live with. Then about halfway through the game the story seems to have jumped off a cliff right after swallowing a gallon of arsenic laced water and shoots itself between the eyes half way to the ground. It sacrifices all the potential it had to continue the occult influenced crime thriller/horror story and continues into an extremely “videogamey” story complete with a “big brother” scenario in which an organization containing powerful figures controls the world. The voice acting is less than believable this time around with Phil LaMarr playing a main character and most everyone else seems to either overact or show no/the wrong emotion. On Phil LaMarr; I have nothing against him, but when was the last time you heard his voice and took it seriously? They added some pretty nice things to it, like explaining what is causing all the rioting and such; which they could have used in another GOOD story, but they flood it all with things that are incredibly stupid, dull, and predictable.

GAMEPLAY 9.0

This is where the game excels at and it’s a good thing it did. If it did everything the same as the first but with the shit story they threw at me the game would be getting a considerably lower score. The combat is improved and offers some new variety. Now you can choose which way you want to swing via the Left or Right Triggers and you can block using both triggers at once. With this they added a combo system that rewards you by filling up a meter which you can trigger by pulling the Right Trigger twice to initiate a quick time trigger pulling sequence to do extra damage and such as well as allow you to do moves you normally couldn’t such as head butting or breaking an arm. The game is also a little bit harder, but that seems to be from multiple enemies hitting you all at the same time and how certain enemies have some ridiculous amounts of health.

Combat isn’t the only time where you have quick time sequences though, during conversations both in game and certain cut-scenes you can choose to respond to something somebody said. Of course you can only press A at these sequences with only one possible answer, but I think they’re really only there to make sure you’re paying attention as doing these also rewards you at the end of the level. What happens at the end of each level, you ask? You get upgrades! WOO! You can’t choose them though; there isn’t a point system or anything like that. Instead it tallies up how well you did in the crime scene investigations, how many quick time responses during the conversations you did, how many sonic emitters you destroyed, etc. to give you a rank. Depending on if you got a Bronze, Silver, or Gold rank, you get a different upgrade such as brass knuckles or a holster to keep a gun on you.

The crime scene investigations are also greatly improved, yet still not as good as they could be, but it’s still a huge leap from the first game and makes it more enjoyable. Now you have to gather the clues yourself using the tools you think are necessary. The only thing that sets this back is that you’re given a list of answers and that makes certain investigations a little too easy or redundant. But it’s still a load better than getting told to press X, then press X again, and then push the Right Trigger to collect the sample or take the picture. With these investigations you get graded on your performance as well. The only problems I came across in these were the first two investigations in the Lodge level where you find the severed arm and the dead body you see when arriving in the basement. On the arm I had to tell the date and time on the watch but I couldn’t make anything out on the watch besides the time. I’m not sure if this was from my SDTV but I think I would have had the same problem on an HDTV being as the main problem was that the stupid watch only took up 1/10 of the screen and you couldn’t zoom in to see it. Then you have to identify that body I talked about earlier and when you find the wallet you can’t make out the name on the badge because, once again, it’s too fucking small to read anything. Thank god those were the only parts I had that problem with.

The game also introduces chase scenes to the series. There are a few of them and words don’t do them justice. They are a lot cooler than they sound, well… at least two of them are anyways. That’s all I have to say about those.

The last thing to talk about, gameplay-wise, is how this one isn’t very scary. Sure you’ll jump maybe once or twice but that’s not from building tension or anything like the first game used, it’s just from a guy jumping around from a corner. I think it might have something to do with the psychology that now you’re a generic bad-ass antihero who’s more capable now, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s not very scary. Especially in about 30% during the second half of the game where you’re just fighting SCU agents… nothing scary about that. Those parts felt like they passed it to the FEAR team. They’re still fun, but they’re not even close to creepy anymore. Then there are things in this game that are just so ridiculous you can’t take it seriously as a horror game anymore such as the baby dolls that walk up to you and explode. Whoever thought that was scary needs to be fired from the team.

You might think this was scary if you were half retarded...

DESIGN 8.0

The game is shown from the first person so there are no camera angles to complain about, but the levels are pretty straight forward. There’s not much room for exploration here, but on the plus side you no longer have to run around looking for that damn fire axe to bust down a door that was blocking your way. Many of the environments looked pretty good, but then there were those instances where you just couldn’t see be it the filter crazy developers or the fact that the game just randomly gets extremely dark, so much to the point where your flashlight doesn’t even help. Other than that, the design is pretty good.

REPLAYABILITY 8.0

The developers added replayability to this installment by adding in the sonic emitters (which kind of replace the dead birds and metal pieces), allowing giving you different ranks, etc. and all of these have not only achievements attached to them but bonus art from the games development. And if that doesn’t get you playing it over there is also the Bloodshot Fight Club feature which places you in a few different scenarios killing as many drug addicts and rioters as you can, doing it in a certain amount of time, etc. There are a few different ways to do it or you can do the Practice Mode part of it where you choose the types of guys you fight and which weapons you get to use. There is also now Online Multiplayer. I played this for a little bit and Crime Scene seems to be the best game. It involves a team of SCU agents and a team of The Influenced (the rioters). The rioters are trying to find two… somethings, I was always an influenced member, anyways, The Influenced try to stop them. It sounds pretty straight forward but it’s a lot more fun than it sounds. I also tried the death match which was less than…working. I’m not sure if it was someone else’s ping or what, but that game just didn’t really work. Then there was Bum Rush which worked but it wasn’t as fun. It was pretty much a Juggernaut type variant with two of them. Either way, you’ll at least play this game for an hour or two after you beat it in 6-8, even if it is to go through your favorite level again.

MATH SCORE 8.1

PERSONAL SCORE 8.5

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Now playing: Nightwish - Planet Hell
via FoxyTunes

TODAY'S UPDATE

2008-03-17T22:10:00.000-07:00

It's still Monday, TAKE THAT TIME! This update is pretty much to tell you I'm going to update tomorrow with a Condemned 2 review as well as the fact that yes, I know I didn't get any pictures done, but thats because I'm still out on those... Kind of sucks... I really want to draw something too.

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Now playing: Nightwish - 7 Days to the Wolves
via FoxyTunes

No Ideas

2008-03-15T10:33:00.001-07:00

Yesterday there was no update because I spent half the day being pissed off at the second half of Condemned 2 and such and didn't sit down to think of any good ideas for something to draw. I'm thinking of them now so hopefully I can get it done tonight or sometime tomorrow so its going to be late but you already know that since I should have had something new yesterday :P

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Now playing: In Flames - Whoracle
via FoxyTunes

Condemned 2 & Fuck Off, Google!

2008-03-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

So my copy of Condemned 2 arrived today sometime while I was at work and I was surprised that it made it here. UPS seems to have some sort of vendetta against me and refuses to deliver packages on time for the most part. Maybe its because I don't compliment their shorts whenever I answer the door... Anyways, so far the game is good. The very beginning of it made me a little uneasy though, within the first 15 minutes I just felt that it didn't look like it was going to live up to the first game but that quickly changed towards the end of the first level and in the two levels I played after.

Enough of that for now, its time for me to rant.

Fuck you, Google!

At first you were just a little innocent search engine but with your recent wrong doings I feel the need to bitch. A little bit ago I heard that Google was looking into buying Youtube and that was fine with me... but then people brought up that they wanted to put ads on Youtube to increase revenue. That alone didn't bother me; I can handle a banner or a side ad... but what they've done is much more sinister... Now on many videos an ad pops up on the lower third of the screen that you have to click out of. It just pops up while you're minding your own business, almost as if Google is shoving a ginormous ad-wang in your face and flopping it around just to disgust you. It slaps you and asks if you like it, bitch. So how do you feel about this? Do you like it, bitch? Now imagine that Google is rubbing its wang all over your face, Google tries to intrude itself uninvitedly into your mouth but its clenched shut. Now imagine I'm not getting aroused by this as I write it and ask yourself, do I really want Google's wang attempting to skull-fuck me?

No, you don't. And you don't deserve to have Google's sexual advances and assults being thrown at you all the time as if the internet was some sort of sexual harassment-themed theme park where all the games were about groping and making bad come-ons to fellow co-workers; and all the rides had names like "Impromptu Back Massage" and "Sensual Quid Pro Quo". I WON'T ALLOW IT!

This makes me wonder when Google is going to stop allowing us to click out of these skull-fuckings, or when they'll force us to watch commercials before the video even begins to load! That would be the equivalent of full-on anal penetration in the style of rape involving no lube.

In short, fuck off Google! You and your ads can go to hell. Your search engine is bland and could use a makeover. And for the all slow people out there... those were all gay jokes to say Google is ghey.

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Now playing: The Black Dahlia Murder - Elder Misanthropy
via FoxyTunes

Five Reasons Why I'm So Awesome

2008-03-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

Here are the top 5 reasons why I'm so great.

5. You Suck
With your, and everyone else's, increasing amount of suckage, that leaves no one else to be completely and utterly great except me. Seriously, you have to suck if you're reading my blog. Only like 3 people do... and you're one of those three >.>

4. I Say I Am Therefore I Am
You can't argue with that logic.

3. I'm A Trend Setter, Ask Mark, The Trendiest Guy Around
Mark copies me and he's SOOOooooooo trendy. And with all that trendiness in one place, who's going to argue with how great I am?

2. I Am Under The Complete Will and Submission of Dunecat
He controls the spice, he controls the universe. Spice must flow.

1. I Enjoy Fine Dining
'Nuff Said.

There you have it, five fully thought out and well penned reasons as to why I'm awesome. It also gave you a glimpse into why you're not as good as me and what my daily life is like (as long as you use your imagination.)

I promise Wednesday's update will be better... I wrote this in 10 minutes realizing I hadn't updated yet today

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Now playing: Mastodon - Ol'e Nessie
via FoxyTunes

Revising My Update Schedule

2008-03-07T11:42:00.001-08:00

Mainly because for some reason its hard for me to think of things to draw, I'm holding back and only promising one new piece of art a week. That isn't to say I won't upload more than once a week, just that you can only hold me to one. That will be on Fridays, starting next Friday. Then I'm going to update with something for you to read once every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So think Penny Arcade schedule. If you have ideas for me, send them my way. I've had terrible...illustrators block(?) lately.

I'm going to try to make a crude cartoon tonight after work since I'm only filling in for the last 2 hours of someone's shift today and then its off to Shana's house to talk to her mom.

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Now playing: Black Label Society - Death March
via FoxyTunes

No new Artz

2008-03-04T21:08:00.000-08:00

Like it says, no new art. I've been watching Arrested Development and thats why I didn't even update yesterday. I always missed that show when it was actually on t.v. and now I have the first 2 seasons so I'm watching those straight through :D

So now, to entertain you all, here is a short cartoon. And if you end up thinking "Hey, this looks like 'Courage' style animation", you'd be correct because it was made by John R. Dilworth who also made Courage... but this short was done about 6-7 years before courage.

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Now playing: Samael - Slavocracy
via FoxyTunes

Coming Back, Bitches!

2008-03-02T15:19:00.001-08:00

First off, I'm back from the lack of updates. No, I haven't beat Lost Odyssey yet as I seem to have been randomly called into work this past week and also I've been playing Halo 3... Joel got me back into that... Starting tomorrow you get more illustrations and such.

As an update, I lived through Silent Hill as Mark wanted me to know. I actually got to live through it twice. The strangest part about the experience was that people were driving with courtesy... The traffic lights were off and people were being nice to each other, stopping at lights to let people onto the main road, etc. even when there were no police officers directing traffic (I only saw one at one street light doing it). This is extremely odd because people normally drive like douche bags. They'll cut you off and then flip you the bird as if it were your fault.

On the topic of driving and people being douche bags I really want to know why people get so irritated when someone is talking on their cell phone while they're driving but no one complains about the guy eating with both his hands and steering with his knees. And who the hell looks around for people talking on the phone? Wouldn't looking for that cause more crashes than just talking to someone? People say its because if you're on the phone then you're not paying attention to the road... but with that logic we shouldn't be allowed to talk to the person next to us or in the back seat while we're driving.

Well, its back to Halo and thinking of stuff to draw and probably playing Lost Odyssey at some point.

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Now playing: Das Ich - Kindgott (Album Mix)
via FoxyTunes

Yesterday's Lack of An Update Explained! :D

2008-02-23T14:07:00.000-08:00

I was playing Lost Odyssey...

Anyways, expect me to update this irregularly, if even at all, until I finish that game. With how much I've been playing it, I think I'll finish it by the end of next week. kthxbai

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Now playing: One Man Army and the Undead Quartet - No Apparent Motive
via FoxyTunes

KELOLON FUN TIME

2008-02-21T14:53:00.001-08:00

I quickly drew this after painfully pulling myself away from Lost Odyssey. I love these guys, they're called Kelolon. It looks kind of crappy, but thats the quality you get when you rush things. I'm going to start a good quality picture of a few of them tonight being adorable, that is if I end up not playing Lost Odyssey some more.

I so far love it, I've played about 4 hours and its like a mix of all my favorite RPGs... like ever. It feels like FF6, Chrono Trigger, and (I don't know why) Legend of Dragoon. Well, I'm off to work.

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Now playing: Black Label Society - Suicide Messiah
via FoxyTunes

Contagion

2008-02-20T20:43:00.000-08:00

I couldn't think of anything to draw so I thought of something to create. A while ago when thinking of band names so my friends' band could have a better name than they chose, I thought of Contagion. The problem is that it didn't fit their style at all and while Contagion is an awesome name, it only really fits certain types of metal. So here's my logo for a non-existent band.

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Now playing: DevilDriver - The Mountain
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DEVIL MAY CRY 4 REVIEW(very small spoilers inside)

2008-02-20T10:22:00.000-08:00

Devil May Cry 4 is full of action and style but there are definitely a few things about it that are holding it back from being a perfect game. Don’t let that deter you from paying $60 for it though, especially if you’re a fan of the series.

GRAPHICS – 8.5

The graphics in this game are pretty good, not the best, but there are certain things about it that make you want to cream yourself. The environments are detailed and filled out. The forest feels all there, not as if you’re being blocked by some 2d trees way off in the background to trick you. That’s a problem a lot of games that have some forest or jungle setting in them, they all feel as if you could go somewhere else, and there isn’t much stopping you because they don’t fill it out with foliage, they always seem to place the forests in some sort of canyon. Ignore that rant… DMC4 does just about everything great. The cut scenes are fun to watch, being extremely over the top and sometimes including a nice sense of humor that won’t have you laughing but you’ll enjoy it. I must say, though, I did laugh during this game, but not when I was supposed to (pretty much mostly when I was beating the shit out of the Pope of what I could only assume was Scientology).

STORY – 6.0

I really wasn’t sure what was happening or why during it, and if it was explained, the game wasn’t holding my attention enough for me to remember it obviously. From what I could gather, a sermon at some sort of Church is interrupted when Dante drops down and stabs what looks to be some sort of equivalent of the Pope. They tell you to go chase Dante and from there on, most of what’s happening is seemingly random, and the things that have to do with the story are strung together pretty loosely. Not in a way to make you think, but in a way that just seems a little like bad writing. Or it could be that I just had to have played earlier games (which I haven’t). Either way, don’t expect the story to be the greatest aspect of the game. It’s not bad… I don’t think… I just don’t know what was going on really. I just knew that at some point the Pope and Agnus were being douche bags and therefore must be stopped. But I don’t really understand why. I know Agnus wanted to do research and used demons for forcing evolution or something… I can’t really remember that part. Anyways, the story isn’t bad, and it’s not like it isn’t there, it’s just that it’s hard to follow unless, it’s probably easier to get if you’ve played easier games.

This is Agnus, he's a creepy bitch.

GAMEPLAY – 7.0

The game is fun, really fun, but there isn’t much to it. Literally, all the sword combinations were “On the ground, press Y, Y, Y” or “Press YY, then YYYY” and “Press Y,Y,Y in the air”. There were a few things that required me to be locked on to an opponent or holding a direction regarding it, but for the most part it was just various different timings of pressing “Y” repeatedly. This system pays off though, when you’re playing and while you’re just button mashing the “Y” button, you see Nero or Dante performing over the top moves in strings of combos with really stupid names (ex. Super Smokin’ Style) and legions of enemies dying by your hand. Playing as Dante makes you realize just how much more depth they could have added to Nero… if they wanted to that is, Capcom is a company that doesn’t really like to try… or fix things. If you’ve played DMC3 (I don’t know about the earlier ones), Dante has four different styles you can choose from that changes how he plays, not to mention he gains more new weapons to use in his four or five levels than Nero does in the entire, 7 hour, 20 level game. But it is a Hack N’ Slash, and being so, you have more fun just using the sword and using your guns a lot less. The game features boss battles with gigantic monsters, which are fun... the first time. You have to have to fight most bosses 3 times, thats right, 3. They never change, they don't get harder, you just have to do it... again.

DESIGN – 6.0

While the characters and environments are great terrible camera angles that constantly and awkwardly change on you throughout the game plague the disc. Many times the camera is set to where you have to fight an enemy off screen or you have to fight them at an awkward angle. The lock-on system used is also outdated and frustrating at times. While the lock on works, it would have been nice to actually choose what I’m locking onto. During normal battles it’s not that bad, I don’t mind running a few extra feet to a different enemy instead of the one that’s right next to me, but in certain boss fights it is extremely frustrating. For an example, (small spoiler alert) a certain fight with Agnus has you shooting him while he hides behind some sort of force field. That would be fine except that you have to target him, and while doing this there are about 15 demons flying around you that turn into swords and rape your shit. Locking onto him is near impossible unless you get right up next to the place he’s standing on and hope you get lucky. To make it worse, each time you kill one of these demons, another one takes its place! So you have to try to ignore them. (end small spoiler alert)

REPLAYABILITY – 6.5

The game is only about 7 hours long on Human mode (It’s what I played on because I heard DMC3 was extremely hard and I hadn’t played one before) so you can expect a lot of people will go back and try to beat it on Devil Hunter mode, even if only for possible achievement points. I guess you could find and complete all the secret missions scattered throughout the game, but that also kind of ties into the achievement points thing. After beating the game once, you unlock a slideshow that explains the history of the Devil May Cry series. I don’t really understand why 360 owners have to unlock this when the PS3 owners get to watch it for 20 minutes why they wait for it to insta-oh, that’s why. I hear Lost Planet is going to do that too. It’s not a PS3 thing, it’s a Capcom thing, let me get that straight. Anyways, you can also unlock some art from the game and I think that’s about it, actually. So there’s not much incentive to beat it at a higher difficulty, and the game won’t change (unless you make it harder or easier) unless you just want to play it again because its “fun”, which it is.

In the end, if you’re looking for a game that’s fun, you won’t go wrong with DMC4, but don’t expect it to be the single greatest experience of your life. I honestly don’t know why people called this a PS3 killer app before it went multiplatform.

Math Score – 6.8

Personal Score – 7.5

Worth $60

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Now playing: Iron Maiden - 2 Minutes to Midnight
via FoxyTunes

No New Arts Today ; - ;

2008-02-19T21:05:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I got ended up filling in a shift for someone else tonight for work, during the time I was planning on drawing something. I was also planning on having beat DMC4 by tonight so I could have written a review by now... but work got in the way of that too. I WILL finish it by tomorrow complete with a review. After DMC4, its on to Lost Odyssey, then Condemned 2 and Patapon somewhere in there.

I got new speakers for my laptop today. The built in speakers are a little too weak for most of my music as they have virtually no bass. I ended up buying a cheap $30 set of speakers with a sub woofer and they work great. I just hope that they don't break relatively soon... cheap things tend to do that.

Well, sorry I have no new stuff up for today... stupid job >..>
And for the people who understand it, Down/Off.

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Now playing: Dimmu Borgir - Dodsferd
via FoxyTunes

Sad Sun

2008-02-18T13:46:00.000-08:00

After a few hours of thinking about what to draw for today I ended up with a sad looking sun. Then a little more time thinking of a small poem for it, BAM, as Emeril would say, and I had today's post. I had fun making this even if it didn't take much time actually making it.

Tonight I'm going to sketch some stuff with the old pencil and paper and then at some point ink that with GIMPshop (since stupid Photoshop Elements has NO pen-tool >.>) and then color and stuff with photoshop. I want to finally make a nice looking, non-rushed, illustration.

I'm also going to play a little more of DMC4 today and hopefully finish it tomorrow so that I can get on with Lost Odyssey and hopefully finish that before Condemned 2 comes out.

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Now playing: Dreamaker - Promised Heaven
via FoxyTunes

I Swear To God I'm Not On Drugs

2008-02-17T03:47:00.000-08:00

So I spent until about 2:30 this morning trying to get a favicon and I FINALLY DID IT! Woo! Learning small bits of html, enough to allow me to play with my site, is helping a lot. Anyways, this piece is for Zach since he asked for me to draw him.

As you can tell, I didn't want to put much, if any, time into actually drawing Zach. Instead I focused more on the environment which was way more fun to do. I hope you guys like this and also realize I did this from about 3:30 to 4:30 a.m. rather than assuming I had some awesome LSD. There is no turning on, tuning in, or dropping out on my end, I assure you.

Why am I up this late, you ask? I'm over at Mark's house with Joey and Dave and they're playing Counter Strike while I've just been sitting between the two working on the site, talking to people, and making the most recent piece of art. Mark went to sleep a while ago so he's not doing much except laying there and being useless and non-trendy. Well, I guess I'm going to go home and sleep seeing as its almost 5 a.m. here now and I'm tired as hell.

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Now playing: One Man Army and the Undead Quartet - Hail the King
via FoxyTunes

Not Much For Today

2008-02-16T11:12:00.000-08:00

I was pressed for time today (not really) so I just made this little sequel to the last strip. Huzzah for laziness. Expect some changes to the site soon, one of my friends is helping me with html coding so I can mess around with this template. I just want to change a few things and add some buttons really. I may also change the header graphic to make it look a little more snazzy. Its just missing some... zazz, you know what I mean? Not much else to say. If I get something else done later today there will be another post seeing as how this one is short, rushed, and not too entertaining... except for the comic strip that is.

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Now playing: The Absence - Heaven Ablaze
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Comic Strip for Friday!

2008-02-15T12:17:00.001-08:00

Well today I was bored and out of ideas so I made a doodle and went with it. I don't care if you didn't laugh, you have to at least admit he's adorable. I'm thinking about doing a simple comic strip for every Friday. That sounds good, right? It could even feature this guy every week... now I'm just rambling. RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE.

I played through an hour of Lost Odyssey and I already like it. There are a few things that bug me but, believe it or not, load times aren't one of them. The things that irk me are:
1) The framerate is constantly struggling but the graphics aren't that taxing. Sure they're nice, but they're not orgasmic, certainly not Mass Effect qaulity.
2) The main character has spoke a collective of 4 words so far. That wouldn't bother me but the voice actor is amazingly terrible. He sounds like he's trying to be bad-ass but he fails so hard at it you want to stab a baby.
3) The dreams/memories... I've only done one of these so far so I can only base what I know of them off this one. It was long. REALLY LONG. And its just a bunch of text. The first one is about ten minutes long and is written almost as if it were intended for a 5th grade standardized test. You can rush through, and I think you might even be able to skip them, but they might have something to do with the story and thats what this game depends on.

The things I like so far are:
1) The music. They wanted to make an old school RPG and the music certainly shows that. But thats not exactly just the reason I like it. I like that some of it sounds like it was influenced by the music in Panzer Dragoon, especially the music in the beginning of the game during the battle. I don't know if this is the battle music for the entire game yet, as I have only played an hour and gotten nowhere afterwards.
2) The battle gameplay. I love the ring system. It basically makes the critical hits rely on skill than luck. There's like a micro-game where you're required to hit a button as a ring engulfs another one. So think of Elite Beat Agents without the rhythm and only one ring at a time.
3) The environments. So far they remind me of a mix of older FF games, FFXI, and Panzer Dragoon.

So far I'm not sure about the story as I haven't played it that much but its so far looking good. However, I might finish DMC4 before I continue with this one. I don't want to get 1/3 of the way through this and then think "I should finish DMC4", then just never get back to it because I'll have forgotten whats happening. I think I could finish DMC4 in one or two more days. I don't play that long when I do, but I think its only like 11 levels long and I'm at level 7. So that review should come soon within a day or two. Speaking of DMC4, I made a doodle of a scarecrow with my new tablet yesterday when I was bored. These are the things you fight at the beginning of the game. They seem to appear less now, I guess its good that in DMC4 there isn't just one common enemy and instead it changes.

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Now playing: Strapping Young Lad - AAA
via FoxyTunes

Well that wasn't much of a wait.

2008-02-14T10:42:00.000-08:00

Someone I had been talking to pointed out that Wacom Bamboo Fun Small tablets were only $99 and very good for their price. So I bought one, thinking that its only $100, so if I end up hating it I wouldn't have spent a good $300+ on one. So far, I love it. The small size seemed like it would be a hassle but after actually using it, its perfect. I'm still getting used to it; right now I can't ink freehanded with it, but I hope to sooner or later. For now I'm just going to have to use the old mouse and keyboard way I did earlier, or ink my scans beforehand... but I don't have much confidence in how steady I can hold my hand knowing its going to be permanent. Or I can just do what I did today, which is scan the pencil drawing and just blacken the lines and blur them a little bit so that its a tiny bit more clean. The results aren't nearly as good as my mouse/keyboard way but I was in a rush to get to coloring to see how well I could do that with the tablet.

I must say coloring was way better with the tablet. I had an easier and faster time with it than I had ever had with a mouse (especially that old analog mouse I had to use after my first optical one died). As you can see here, it turned out relatively well, but the poncho looks like crap but that is my fault for rushing it. I don't care that much though, this was really just a practice picture.
YAY, CHANGE OF SUBJECT! ZOOM! BAM! WAZOO!

I've recently been playing DMC4 and I'll get a review written about that as soon as I finish it. The game is fun but there isn't much to it. Then add to the fact that the lock on targeting doesn't allow you to switch between enemies and the random fixed camera angles could have been positioned better by some sort of fish-man hybrid with a lack of fingers, and you're far from a perfect game. That review probably won't be here anytime soon as I've also gotten my copy of Lost Odyssey but whatever.

Those two are totally about to kiss.

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Now playing: Nightwish - Crownless
via FoxyTunes

I'm going to have to wait

2008-02-13T10:00:00.001-08:00

Well, a while ago an online friend told me to draw him a cat with a sombrero and a poncho, playing the guitar. I ended up getting a concept drawing and a roughish sketch done and then today I used my lightbox to trace it. It turned out kind of... not good, but I have to get used to tracing again I guess. But it will look a lot better after its colored.

I can honestly say that after a few other times of doing this. So I started to color and got the nose done... and thats it. At the moment I can't find any colors that I like for his fur and thats a big problem. Of course an obvious solution would be to use GimpShop which I know I could find, or at least make, a color to suite the cat. But the problem with that lies in my new computer. I have a laptop so I only have a mouse pad and that sucks to use with an image editing program, especially since I would be digitally inking the image so that it doesn't look bad and it would be easier for me to color (with the techniques I use, anyway).

To solve these problems I'm going to use my birthday money and then also my tax refund to get a tablet. And not just any tablet... an expensive one! :o I'm not sure how soon I'll be able to get used to it. Watching a screen with my hand somewhere else to see what I'm doing can't be as intuitive as I've been told. I could understand if maybe I had started drawing that way, but thats just not what I'm used to. I'll be kicking myself in the ass if I end up with buyers remorse over some $400 laptop I end up with. So if anyone happens to stumble upon this post, recommend me some good tablets and I'll... I dunno, give you some juice.

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Now playing: Anders Fridén - Dysfunctional Hours
via FoxyTunes

First post!

2008-02-12T13:33:00.000-08:00

I'm new here, really new. I have no friends that I know of who use this or anything, but there are a few blogs on here I keep up with (Jeff Gerstman's for one).

I draw for a hobby, HOBBY. I don't plan to ever take it seriously, but I would like to at least produce one story book someday, maybe I'll just do it over here. My drawings are cartoons. I don't do realistic stuff because... well, I can't. I have no one distinct style, but I can adapt many characteristics of other styles to meet my own needs. I guess thats one of the reasons I wanted to start this; I'm planning on updating a new piece of work at least once every few days and getting better at what I do.

Just as well, I will also do some ranting, discussing, etc. on here. And some reviews of Music, Video Games, and Movies.

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Now playing: Otep - Crooked Spoons
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